Farm to Family Column: Action Figures

By Curt Arens

Northeast Nebraska News Agency

November 25, 2007

DearFriends,

Thistime of year, we all learn a lot about merchandising, because we can't turn onthe TV or radio, or peek at the newspapers or shoppers without being blasted byChristmas and holiday ads, selling everything from a new digital flat screen TVthat also does dishes and laundry for you, to that new gigantic "familywill be home for the holidays" toilet paper package.

Eventhe holiday movies have found a way to make more dollars, from those who don'teven see the movies. They produce "stuff" related to the movie,action figures, scrapbooks, curtains, posters, lounge chairs, you name it. Thatmerchandise related to the movie, music CD or TV show helps drive people toalso watch the show, listen to the music or go to the movie. It is brilliant.These things become fads, so that even if you aren't really "into"the entertainment stuff, you have to purchase some of this merchandise, or youare just not considered "cool" by your friends and neighbors. If youare a seller, this is an ingenious scheme, and it obviously works in a big way.

Everyoneknows that farmers are not really appreciated, considering we feed the worldand all. I think as an occupation, family farmers are respected, at least bythose who take the time, in between mouths full of mashed potatoes and roastbeef, to think about where the food actually comes from and how it gets to thetable.

Yet,farmers are the grassroots of the whole food distribution system. The big chaingrocers and the fast food joints get more credit for food than we do. But maybewe are going about this thing all wrong. Maybe we need some "stuff"to sell to promote the cause of the farmers.

Wouldn'tit be great if we could come up with an action figure, something like "JoeFarmer, Super Producer"? Now, that would sell. He could have a huge"S" for "Soil" set out in bold on his little farmer's cap.He would have his golden holster hooked on his belt, complete with a fullyfunctional, handy-dandy, multi-purpose pliers.

Yes,I can see the advertisement now. "Joe Farmer, Super Producer, Grower forthe World. Able to drive big tractors for hours and hours and hours. Leapingcreek banks in a single bound. Moving cows at lightning speed. Fixing fencewithout breaking a sweat. He is.Joe Farmer."

Don'tforget the fine print, "Other farm related action figures like Joe's wife,Jane, Joe's hired man, Fred and Joe's banker, Bob, sold separately. Batteriesnot included."

Yes,that kind of thing would really sell. I suppose we should have a movie aboutJoe to promote as well, something to get the whole action figure craze started.

Then, as this "JoeFarmer" fad got rolling, we could also offer "Joe Rancher","Joe, Elevator Manager" and "Joe, Seed Corn Salesman", theopportunities are endless. That would truly set the entertainment industry onits ear, or, set it back about twenty years.